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Courage always comes before confidence

Picture of TEREZ RIJKENBERG, MBA

TEREZ RIJKENBERG, MBA

Executive coach Terez Rijkenberg is an MBA graduate, author, speaker, and facilitator who blends productivity and mindset strategies to give busy executives simple ways to overcome procrastination and self-doubt. Terez is passionate about helping people achieve more success without all the stress so that they can create the ultimate life-work balance.

Often, in our working environments we only want to try new strategies or have tough conversations or take on a new role when feel that we are ready and confident. But we’re limiting our potential and our speed for growth, because we don’t need confidence.

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A few years ago my son learned how to ride a bike without training wheels. 

He didn’t know how to ride a bike without training wheels. 

He had never done it before and therefore didn’t have any evidence that he could do it.

He didn’t have unwavering confidence in his ability to not fall without the help of those training wheels.

But what he did have was a commitment to try and courage.

It was such a great example to watch and see how we don’t need to feel confident before we try something new.

Often, in our working environments, we only want to try new strategies or have tough conversations or take on a new role when we feel that we are ready and confident.

But we’re limiting our potential and our speed for growth because we don’t need confidence.

We only need a commitment to try something and the courage to do it.

The 4 C’s model – by Dan Sullivan shows the steps we take when learning something or trying something new. 

And it is particularly helpful when navigating change, growth and innovation for yourself, your team or your business.

Step 1: Commitment 

To try something new, learn a new skill, change a habit or take on a new goal you have to first commit. You have to know WHY you want to do it and WANT to do it (“I WANT to do this” and not “I SHOULD do this”). You also need to practice believing that what you want to achieve is possible for you.

As much as my husband and I encouraged my son to take off the training wheels of his bicycle he could not be forced to do it. My son had decided in advance that exactly on his 4th birthday he would allow us to remove the training wheels. And he did. He needed to WANT this for himself. 

 

Step 2: Courage

When creating any change or doing something you’ve never done before the next step is to cultivate courage. Courage doesn’t always feel good, because we only feel it when we also feel fear. So expect to feel fear and discomfort and even awkwardness in this step. And expect to fail and not always get things “right”.

Do you remember first learning how to ride a bike? It’s scary and wobbly and everything feels unnatural. We need courage to get on the bike, and a willingness to fail. My son had many falls and scrapes and bruises. But he continued to cultivate the courage to keep getting back on the bike.

 

Step 3: Capability

In this step, you start to build capability. You get more comfortable with the skill of what you want to achieve and start to develop more automatic responses. This is where the habit starts to form more solid pathways in your brain.

Watching my son I remember him starting to find shortcuts and small tricks that would allow him to fall better, correct quicker and eventually ride smoother and faster. 

 

Step 4: Confidence

This is the step where everything starts to finally feel comfortable. You have created the formula that works best for you. Also in this step, you create exponential speed and efficiency and things start to feel easy.

It’s like riding a bike! Once you’ve learned how to do it, you don’t even need to think about it. That’s what confidence is. My son is now confident enough to go over bumps and is probably faster than me already. He is also now learning how to use gears, and so now I get to watch him go through Steps 1 to 4 all over again!

Remember this: There is no shortcut to confidence.

With the growth or change you want for your life, you have to be prepared to go through the first 3 C’s first.

Depending on your goal it may take longer at each step.

Are you willing to go through each as long as necessary to get to confidence?

 

TAKE ACTION:

  • Look at the current habits and goals you are working on. Think about which step you are currently at for each.
  • Ask yourself how you can use this model to create more compassion for yourself as you progress through these steps.
  • Every time you think about a “need” to feel confident to do something, remind yourself that all you need is commitment and courage.
  • COACHING: If you are struggling with gaining progress on certain goals or habits, it’s likely because of challenges at one of the first 3 steps. I can help you, just book a free consultation with me here.

Your coach,

Terez

Want to know more about how this can apply to YOU?

Why not sign up for a FREE 30-min consultation with me. We will explore your goals, the obstacles that are currently getting in the way and how you can overcome them. It's easy once you have a strategy.

Want to know more about how this can apply to YOU?

Why not sign up for a FREE 30-min consultation with me. We will explore your goals, the obstacles that are currently getting in the way and how you can overcome them. It's easy once you have a strategy.

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