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If you want to deepen your self-development and leadership to an advanced level, then I can recommend this practice.
I call it “The turnaround question”.
Here’s how it works:
Whenever you find yourself thinking or saying something negative about someone else, you turn it around and see how you’re doing the same thing.
If you’re thinking: “They’re not doing what they’re supposed to be doing.”
Turn it around: “In what way am I not doing what I’m supposed/want to be doing?”
If you’re thinking: “They’re so lazy.”
Turn it around: “In what way am I being lazy?”
If you’re thinking: “They’re not listening to me.”
Turn it around: “How am I not listening to them/me?”
If you’re thinking: “They don’t respect me.”
Turn it around: “How am I not respecting them/me?”
You may feel some resistance to asking yourself the turnaround question.
That’s ok and completely normal!
In fact, be prepared for your brain to give you all of the excuses: “but he’s always doing this…” or “but she is never…”
The point of self-development and leadership isn’t about critiquing other people’s actions.
It’s about owning and taking 100% responsibility for OUR own actions.
And the crazy thing is that whenever we criticise other people, we’re already or we start showing up in the same way.
But the real power of this question is that it gives us back a feeling of control.
Because when we’re criticising someone else it will continue to be frustrating when they don’t change!
We’re trying to control something we have 0% control over: their actions.
When we use the turnaround question it focuses us on what we have 100% control over: our actions.
Give “the turnaround question” a try.
- Whenever you find yourself feeling frustrated, annoyed or angry with another person – use the turnaround question.
- Whenever you find yourself thinking someone else “should” be doing something else – use the turnaround question.
- COACHING: If you want to know how to step into your most powerful self as a leader, I can help you, just book a free consultation with me here.