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What to do when you feel negative feelings

TEREZ RIJKENBERG, MBA

TEREZ RIJKENBERG, MBA

Executive coach Terez Rijkenberg is an MBA graduate, author, speaker, and facilitator who blends productivity and mindset strategies to give busy executives simple ways to overcome procrastination and self-doubt. Terez is passionate about helping people achieve more success without all the stress so that they can create the ultimate life-work balance.

When we feel good, motivated, inspired, energised, confident, and brave… we take actions that move us forward towards what we want. But sometimes when we feel negative feelings like fear, disappointment, frustration, discomfort, defeat, rejection, or deprivation… we stop taking action or we take actions that sabotage what we really want.

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What do feelings have to do with anything?

What do they have to do with work or goals or our vision for our future growth and happiness?

Feelings have EVERYTHING to do with everything you want.

When we feel good, motivated, inspired, energised, confident, and brave… we take actions that move us forward towards what we want.

But sometimes when we feel negative feelings like fear, disappointment, frustration, discomfort, defeat, rejection, or deprivation… we stop taking action or we take actions that sabotage what we really want.

And we all know that it’s action that creates results.

Here’s the truth: in life and especially on your journey to your personal and career goals you are going to feel both positive and “negative” feelings.

No matter who you are, you are probably going to feel positive feelings around 50% of the time and negative feelings 50% of the time.

This is normal and ok and to be expected.

In order to use your feelings to help you achieve your goals you can:

  1. Intentionally create positive feelings: You can do this by reminding yourself of why you want to achieve your goal and the evidence of why you are already making progress! The more evidence you can remind yourself of that it’s working and that you’re making progress the more you will be motivated and inspired to keep taking action.
  2. Be willing to feel the negative feelings and move forward anyway: We don’t have to avoid the “negative” feelings or try and make them go away. Instead, we can feel them and take action anyway.

 

It’s our ability to keep moving forward in spite of negative feelings that create the success we want in our lives.

Here’s an example:

Have you ever had a “bad day”?

When you wake up and you’re just not feeling motivated?

Or when something unexpected happens during the day and you feel anxious or stressed about it?

Our inclination at that time is to stop working towards our goal. To take a break or try and find something that will help us feel better.

Sometimes this shows up as an excuse like “I’ll do this when I’m feeling better because I’m not going to be able to do it well right now”.

But what I want to suggest is do what you need to do, do what you’ve planned to do even when you don’t feel great.

Show up for your goal even when you’re a bit flat.

Let yourself feel disappointed, frustrated or uncomfortable and take another step forward.

We don’t have to fix the “negative” feeling, we just have to acknowledge that this is a normal part of the process on our journey towards our goal.

TAKE ACTION:

  1. Notice when you’re not getting the results you want, and ask yourself, “what am I feeling that’s stopping me from taking action to get the results I want?”
  2. Ask yourself: “Am I willing to feel this feeling and move forward anyway?”
  3. COACHING: If you want more insight into how your feelings are the secret to your success, book a free consultation with me here.

Your coach,

Terez

Want to know more about how this can apply to YOU?

Why not sign up for a FREE 30-min consultation with me. We will explore your goals, the obstacles that are currently getting in the way and how you can overcome them. It's easy once you have a strategy.

Want to know more about how this can apply to YOU?

Why not sign up for a FREE 30-min consultation with me. We will explore your goals, the obstacles that are currently getting in the way and how you can overcome them. It's easy once you have a strategy.

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