If you want to achieve anything in your life – any goal; any project; any dream – there is only one thing you need to focus on in order to be successful.
it’s so much easier when you just have to focus on one thing right? Yes!
And there really is just one thing.
This is the one thing that is responsible for the most amazing feats of success in the world. It’s one thing that all of us can practice and get better at.
I’ll share that one thing with you right here in Episode 3 of Less Stress, More Success.
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Hello and welcome to episode 3 of Less Stress and more success.
I wanted to let you know that if you’re currently watching live – did you know that you can now find me on podcast – so if you sometimes enjoy listening on podcast then head on over to Apple Podcasts; Spotify or Amazon Podcasts to listen.
And if you’re listening to this on podcast and would like to watch one of these episodes from time to time then just head on over to my website: terezrijkenberg.com/3 or forward slash the number of the episode to get all of the videos; podcasts and show notes.
You can also watch live on my Facebook and YouTube page every Thursday 10 am BST – @TerezRijkenbergStrategyCoach
Ok – so in his episode we will be chatting about your only job if you want to achieve any goal.
This is such a great episode if I do say so myself.
But this isn’t just applicable to a goal – it’s applicable to anything. Your only job if you want to do anything; be anything or have anything…
There is ONLY one thing you need to focus on.
There’s a great book by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan called The One Thing – where they speak about how important it is to focus on just one thing at a time.
Because it’s so much easier when you just have to focus on one thing right?
So I am going to share the one thing you need to focus on to have anything you want. In fact, this should just be the one thing we should be focusing on period.
Because so often we think that in order for us to succeed in life or progress we need other stuff to help us.
- We think we need resources – like money and time
- We think we need skills and capabilities – so we head off to university or take lots of courses because we think this will make us more successful
- We think we need support of the people around us – so we’re always waiting for people to believe in us or to give us a lucky break
But there is actually just one thing we all need. And if you just focus on this one thing – all of those others like resources and skills and support will be a natural by-product – they will be inevitable.
Here is that one thing: Self-belief
That’s all you need to succeed at anything.
So let’s look at what self-belief means:
The dictionary definition is: self-belief is confidence in your own abilities or judgement.
But I want to expand on that definition because very often we think that having self-belief and confidence in ourselves is based on what we have done in the past. That we can have confidence because we know that we can do something because we have done it before.
Maybe you’re really good at running – so you have confidence in yourself that you can run a marathon. But for someone like me – I’m not very good at running – so I don’t have confidence based on past experience that I’d be able to run a marathon – the furthest I have run is 10km. BUT I have the self-belief that If I put my mind to it and trained I would for sure be able to run a marathon. 100% without a doubt.
Self-belief isn’t about our past achievements it extends further than that – it’s the belief that we can do anything we set our minds to do – it’s about the future, our future goals – and that we can go after and achieve our goals because we will not quit until we do.
Self-belief is about knowing that we can always find a way through.
Self-belief doesn’t allow for quitting or giving up or thinking there’s something wrong with me therefore I won’t ever reach my dreams. Self-belief isn’t about excuses either.
Self-belief is the unwavering belief that you will keep trying and that you have your back no matter what. And that if you do fail – you won’t beat yourself up or judge yourself – you’ll just pick yourself up and try again. Find another way. Try something else.
Self-belief is also what you need, to allow yourself to fail. So many of us are afraid of failure or rejection. And we allow ourselves to quit after the first failure or setback. Or even the 5th or 10th setback. But if you have 100% belief in yourself then failure is ok. 100 failures and setbacks are ok. Because you’ll still continue to believe in yourself no matter what.
You know these stories right:
- Howard Schultz founder of Starbucks went to 242 banks for a loan before getting one.
- Walt Disney also looked for a loan and was rejected by 300 banks.
- JK rowling received 12 rejection letters – one telling her not to give up her day job.
- Colonel saunders KFC initkal recipes were rejected 1009 times.
- Jack ma the richest man in asia and founder of Alibaba was rejected from 30 jobs when he finished college.
- Katy Perry persisted as a failing artist for nearly 10 years before getting her big break
All of them had unwavering self-belief. They knew they could handle the failure and rejection and continued on.
I want you to ask yourself – in relation to the dreams and goals you have for yourself right now – how long are you willing to stick at it? How much failure are you willing to endure to get there? On a scale of 1-10, how much do you believe in yourself that you can do it?
And if it’s not a 10 – what needs to change in the way that you think about yourself to get it there?
I say this because self-belief is all about you and what you believe about yourself. It has nothing to do with other peoples opinions of you. That’s irrelevant. Those 12 publishers didn’t believe in JK Rowling – and that didn’t matter – she kept going.
So what do you need to believe about yourself to keep going no matter what?
One of the beliefs that I want to offer you is that “You can handle any failure”. Because let’s think about it – the worst part of failure is how we feel. It’s a feeling. Episode 2 of the podcast delves deeply into feelings so If you haven’t yet listened – then do go check it out.
So if the worst part of failure is just a feeling then you can handle any feeling and you can handle any failure.
And – the most amazing thing is that being able to handle any failure and setback actually builds your self-belief. You know without a doubt that you can handle the worst thing that can happen. And do it anyway.
The one thing you might be asking is “won’t I be arrogant or narcissistic if I have 10/10 self-belief”?
The answer is NO – because of a simple distinction between those. Arrogance and narcissism are believing that you are better than other people. It’s also all about believing that you are entitled to certain things (like respect and recognition) just because of who you are. Arrogance and narcissism are overconfidence in yourself at the expense of others.
But self-belief is about believing in yourself, knowing you are worthy and 100% in charge of your results. AND believing the same about others – that they are also worthy and capable of achieving their goals and dreams.
The funny thing is that arrogant and narcissistic people very often have little self-belief because they are reliant on pulling others down so that they can succeed.
But self-belief is never at the expense of others – it’s never about belittling others or expecting others to treat you in a different way.
When I was working in a large corporate I remember clearly always wanting to show up as humble. I believed that humility was a good trait – and I still believe this. But I used to downplay my skills and abilities and my belief in myself to seem humble. But humility just means that you don’t believe that you are better than other people.
If you are worried that allowing yourself to have 10/10 self-confidence in yourself will be seen as arrogant or not humble. Then I want you to consider this: When you have unwavering self-belief, knowing that you can achieve those big dreams for yourself, you will actually go out and do it.
You will work on those dreams with more energy than ever and most likely soon or in the future, you will succeed.
I want you to consider that going after your dreams is contributing so much more to the world than holding yourself back – by not believing – being humble.
Your self-belief will allow you to:
- Build a business that adds value to the world
- Or make the money that will support your family
- Or allow you to show up in a way that allows people to see what’s possible for themselves too
You owe it to the world to believe in yourself.
So how do you get better at self-belief?
The great thing to know about self-belief is that it’s a skill. I call it a power skill. And you can build your self-belief with intentional practice.
- First do and fail. Keep doing and failing. be ok with failure and know that eventually you will succeed.
- Next manage your self-talk. There’s a great quote that goes “don’t listen to yourself – talk to yourself”. And essentially what this means is that we should intentionally be speaking to ourselves positively and not listening to the negative self-talk that our brains sometimes give us.
- Focus on the positive evidence that its working. Look for all of the ways that you are achieving your goal and remove any consideration that it’s not working. Research has shown that judging yourself to be capable of success and focusing on the positive evidence that it’s working actually increases your actual chance of success.
- Reframe obstacles and set backs immediately. As soon as you come across a setback, obstacle or self-doubt then immeditaely work to reframe them in the positive way. Look for the lesson or reason why this was the best thing to happen on your journey to success.
So your only job if you want to achieve any goal is to believe in yourself.
Ok – I’d love to hear your thoughts about this – send me a mail at hello @ terezrijkenberg.com – and if you need more help with success, goals, productivity and mindset for yourself or your team then reach out to me via email: that’s hello @ terezrijkenberg.com
You can also visit my website terezrijkenberg.com to request a free 30min mini-strategy session to get less stress and more success in your business and for your life.
Bye for now!