{"id":4362,"date":"2022-02-10T12:34:00","date_gmt":"2022-02-10T12:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/?p=4362"},"modified":"2022-06-24T13:22:10","modified_gmt":"2022-06-24T13:22:10","slug":"is-that-data-or-drama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/blog\/is-that-data-or-drama\/","title":{"rendered":"Is that data or drama?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4362\" class=\"elementor elementor-4362\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-120bddb9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"120bddb9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_is_background_parallax&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5ee85833\" data-id=\"5ee85833\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2425e678 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2425e678\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 13-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<pre>&lt;READING TIME: 5m24s&gt;<\/pre><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The other day, in a coaching session, one of my clients said: <em>\u201cLast week was a complete write-off\u201d<\/em>.<\/span><\/p><p>I probed a bit and asked: <em>&#8220;Tell me what happened?&#8221;<\/em><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She replied, <em>\u201cWell I&#8217;d planned to spend 2 hours on strategic thinking time every day, but people kept distracting me every time I got into it!&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I probed a bit more <em>\u201cWhen did these people distract you?&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My client replied: <em>\u201cWell on Tuesday I was halfway through a strategic document and my colleague sent an email asking for my attention on something.&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p><p>She continued:<em> &#8220;Then on Thursday I was almost finished with a board pack presentation when a phone call from the CEO came through. And on Friday there was a celebration in the office and I had to join in.&#8221;<\/em><\/p><p>I questioned a bit more: <em>&#8220;So how many hours of strategic thinking time did you complete?&#8221;<\/em><\/p><p>My client: <em>&#8220;Well I actually got through a lot of what I had planned to do and probably, looking at my calendar now, I managed 7 solid hours altogether.&#8221;<\/em><\/p><p><b>My response: <i>\u201cOh\u2026 so your week wasn&#8217;t a complete write-off then?&#8221; <\/i>\ud83d\ude02<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This story isn\u2019t here to shame my client. (I do the same thing all the time too &#8211; which is why I get coached at least twice a week.)<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I\u2019m sharing the story with you because we all do this. Our mind exaggerates things.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It looks for patterns with events that happen and then exaggerates them. That\u2019s just how it\u2019s wired.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why? Because patterns allow us to quickly and easily explain things.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is the reason why we make assumptions, use stereotypes and also why we often create a lot of drama for ourselves!<\/span><\/p><p><strong>You\u2019ll notice the drama your mind creates if you\u2019ve ever used \u201call or nothing&#8221; words like: \u201calways\u201d or \u201cnever\u201d or \u201call\u201d or \u201cnot\u201d when explaining something.<\/strong><\/p><p>Drama gets infiltrated into our language and thinking with other sensational words like &#8220;failure&#8221;, &#8220;complete&#8221;, &#8220;disaster&#8221;, &#8220;shocking&#8221;, disappointing&#8221;, &#8220;downhill&#8221; etc.<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem with this kind of self-talk (and even when conveying messages to others) is that our brain starts to believe the drama as if it were true.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then starts to focus on all of the evidence to prove it true.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">AND &#8211; our brain then sabotages our actions to create even more evidence to make it true.<\/span><\/p><p>In the case of my client, when she was thinking her week was &#8220;a complete write-off&#8221; she felt frustrated, and she told me when she feels frustrated she becomes easily distracted and also didn&#8217;t plan for the upcoming week.<\/p><p>And so she effectively &#8220;writes off&#8221; the opportunity for strategic deep work in the upcoming week.<\/p><p><strong>So what can we do instead?<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First, notice if you are creating DRAMA for yourself by exaggerating how you feel, the actions you\u2019re taking or the results you\u2019re currently creating.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then, stop to clarify the FACTS of the situation. Exactly how much, when, what happened, and what specifically did you do or not do? What is the clear data? <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The facts and data are what could be proven in a court of law.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then you can make a rational assessment about what\u2019s working or not working.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some more types of thoughts you can be aware of that create drama:<\/span><\/p><ul><li><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t manage to get anything done&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/li><li><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt was a disaster&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/li><li><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s a complete failure&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/li><li><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI always get it wrong\u201d <\/span><\/em><\/li><li><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI\u2019ve never been able to do this\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/li><li><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cIt\u2019s not working<\/span><\/em><\/li><\/ul><p>\u00a0<\/p><h3>TAKE ACTION:<\/h3><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Think about the productive habits and results\/tasks you want to achieve every week<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Where do you sometimes use \u201call or nothing\u201d or exaggerate your thinking about it?<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider what the facts of the situation really are &#8211; what is the data? This may mean you need to go looking for the data in some way.<\/span><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, check your calendar for actual hours spent on a specific task<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Make a rational decision about how to move forward with the data (and not the drama!)<\/span><\/li><li>Be mindful of using dramatic language with your team and colleagues, asking yourself: &#8220;How might this dramatic language trigger them to react?&#8221;<\/li><li>COACHING: If you would like to create more results and positive data at work (and a lot less drama), then<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/book-a-consultation\/\">book a free consultation with me here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You\u2019ll notice the drama your mind creates if you\u2019ve ever used \u201call or nothing&#8221; words like: \u201calways\u201d or \u201cnever\u201d or \u201call\u201d or \u201cnot\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4363,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[87,152,151,103,153,74,121,75],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is that data or drama? 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