{"id":4376,"date":"2022-04-20T13:23:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-20T13:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/?p=4376"},"modified":"2022-07-01T13:33:02","modified_gmt":"2022-07-01T13:33:02","slug":"want-powerful-communication-its-all-on-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/blog\/want-powerful-communication-its-all-on-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Want powerful communication? It&#8217;s all on you&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4376\" class=\"elementor elementor-4376\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-120bddb9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"120bddb9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_is_background_parallax&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5ee85833\" data-id=\"5ee85833\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2425e678 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2425e678\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 13-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<pre>&lt;READING TIME: 3m30s&gt;<\/pre><p dir=\"ltr\">We recently welcomed a puppy into our family. Her name is Luna! \u2764\ufe0f<\/p><p>And as you can imagine, we&#8217;ve been hard at work training her while she is young.<\/p><p>So of course I&#8217;ve been reading and watching all of the material on how to train a puppy. (Interestingly, it&#8217;s not dissimilar to training a human!\u00a0\ud83d\ude09)<\/p><p>For toilet training a puppy, one of the comments that comes up a lot from the top dog trainers around the world is this:<\/p><p><em><strong>&#8220;If the puppy messes in a place where you don&#8217;t want them to, it&#8217;s all on you.&#8221;<\/strong><\/em><\/p><p>It&#8217;s not the puppy&#8217;s fault.<\/p><p>It&#8217;s my fault for not communicating effectively.<\/p><p>It&#8217;s my fault for not watching her signals.<\/p><p>It&#8217;s my fault for not giving her the best opportunity to succeed.<\/p><p>And shouting at her, or punishing her actually won&#8217;t help her change her behaviour, in fact, it makes her more inclined to do the opposite of what I want.<\/p><p><strong>I have to change if you want her to change.<\/strong><\/p><p>It&#8217;s all on me.<\/p><p>This is not a statement to judge my ability or potential as a dog owner and trainer &#8211; it&#8217;s a statement to discover what I can do differently next time to get a better result.<\/p><p>Because if it&#8217;s all on me, then I get to think about how I could adjust the way I train or communicate to be more effective to help her learn what I want.<\/p><p><strong>Now imagine if we could use this same principle with ALL communication?<\/strong><\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">And as a leader imagine implementing this way of communicating with your team?<\/p><p>Imagine if every time someone doesn&#8217;t do what we want them to do we think: <em>&#8220;It&#8217;s all on me. What can I do differently next time?&#8221;<\/em><\/p><p>Imagine if every time we have an argument or a misunderstanding with someone, we can use it as an opportunity to grow our communication ability?<\/p><p>It makes complete sense.<\/p><p><strong>Our ability to communicate powerfully as a leader comes from OUR actions and the way we communicate, and not the actions (or inactions) of others.<\/strong><\/p><p>So, if you want to grow your communication ability and influence more people (clients, colleagues, family etc.) then whenever someone doesn&#8217;t do what you want them to do, take full responsibility: <em>&#8220;It&#8217;s all on me.&#8221;<\/em><\/p><p>Remember, this isn&#8217;t used to judge or mentally beat yourself up, it&#8217;s a statement to discover how you can communicate better to get different results.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h3>TAKE ACTION:<\/h3><ul><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">Think about where in your life someone isn&#8217;t doing what you want them to do.<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">Ask yourself: &#8220;This is all on me. What can I do differently to communicate what I want, to get better results in this situation?&#8221;<\/p><\/li><li>COACHING: If you would like guidance on communicating effectively or dealing with people who may be &#8220;hard&#8221; to communicate with, then<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/book-a-consultation\/\">book a free consultation with me here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our ability to communicate powerfully comes from OUR actions and not from the actions (or inactions) of others.<\/p>\n<p>If you want someone to change, first YOU have to change.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4377,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[154,157,156,155,103,158,134],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Want powerful communication? 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