{"id":4423,"date":"2022-03-11T13:23:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-11T13:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/?p=4423"},"modified":"2022-07-14T13:38:40","modified_gmt":"2022-07-14T13:38:40","slug":"fixing-feelings-and-doubling-the-bad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/blog\/fixing-feelings-and-doubling-the-bad\/","title":{"rendered":"Fixing feelings and doubling the bad"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4423\" class=\"elementor elementor-4423\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-120bddb9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"120bddb9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_is_background_parallax&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5ee85833\" data-id=\"5ee85833\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2425e678 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2425e678\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 13-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<pre>&lt;READING TIME: 1m54s&gt;<\/pre><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all experience feelings (or emotions) throughout our day.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Frustration, excitement, fear, anxiety, defeat, disappointment, love, pride\u2026<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But sometimes when we experience \u201cnegative\u201d and \u201cbad\u201d feelings, we try to fix them straight away.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I want to show you that you can allow yourself to have negative feelings, without needing to fix them.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because if we constantly try to fix our feelings it means \u201cthere\u2019s something wrong\u201d.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So this is what happens:<\/span><\/p><ol><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We feel bad<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We think \u201cthere\u2019s something wrong\u201d because are feeling bad<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We feel bad about feeling bad<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We\u2019ve doubled the bad<\/span><\/li><\/ol><p><strong>Just remove the extra layer of bad.<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop thinking something&#8217;s gone wrong.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let yourself feel frustrated, let yourself feel disappointed, and let yourself feel anger.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop beating yourself up for feeling bad.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just let yourself feel negative emotions sometimes.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tell yourself that it\u2019s ok.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That\u2019s all.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes &#8211; you might still feel bad.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But you\u2019ll also feel so much better.<\/span><\/p><h3>TAKE ACTION:<\/h3><ul><li>Next time you feel a negative feeling, check in with yourself and see if you&#8217;re trying to fix it<\/li><li>You might find yourself trying to fix the feeling by: overworking, overeating, overdrinking, watching Netflix etc. This just allows you to avoid feeling the feeling.<\/li><li>You might find yourself beating yourself up for feeling the feeling.<\/li><li>You might also find yourself reacting from the feeling, e.g. shouting.<\/li><li>In those moments remind yourself that it&#8217;s ok to feel bad sometimes, it&#8217;s ok to feel a negative emotion and you don&#8217;t have to fix it or avoid it or react from it.<\/li><li>You can process through any negative emotion much faster by allowing them to be present, by allowing them to be there without making them go away.<\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">COACHING: If you would like help processing emotions so that you can move forward faster with your work and life goals, <\/span>then<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/book-a-consultation\/\">book a free consultation with me here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If we constantly try to fix our feelings it means \u201cthere\u2019s something wrong\u201d. But what if nothing has gone wrong. What if it&#8217;s ok to just feel that negative feeling?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[87,93,90,165,167,166,121],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Fixing feelings and doubling the bad - Terez Rijkenberg | Executive Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If we constantly try to fix our feelings it means \u201cthere\u2019s something wrong\u201d. But what if nothing has gone wrong. 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