{"id":4496,"date":"2022-03-31T14:04:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-31T14:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/?p=4496"},"modified":"2022-07-27T14:33:08","modified_gmt":"2022-07-27T14:33:08","slug":"ask-negative-questions-get-negative-answers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/blog\/ask-negative-questions-get-negative-answers\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask negative questions, get negative answers"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4496\" class=\"elementor elementor-4496\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-120bddb9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"120bddb9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_is_background_parallax&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5ee85833\" data-id=\"5ee85833\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2425e678 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2425e678\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;dotlife_ext_link_sidemenu&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_scrollme&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_smoove&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_parallax_mouse&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_infinite&quot;:&quot;false&quot;,&quot;dotlife_ext_is_fadeout_animation&quot;:&quot;false&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.20.0 - 13-03-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<pre>&lt;READING TIME: 2m42s&gt;<\/pre><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your brain is like an ATM.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you insert a bank card with a negative balance. You get zero (or negative) money.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And if you insert negative questions into your brain, you get zero (or negative) answers.<\/span><\/p><p><strong>Here are some examples:<\/strong><\/p><blockquote><p><b>Q:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> What\u2019s wrong with me? <\/span><\/p><p><b>A: <\/b><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&lt;Your brain comes up with the list of things that could be \u201cwrong\u201d with you&gt;<\/span><\/em><\/p><p>&#8230;<\/p><p><b>Q: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why do I always keep making mistakes?<\/span><b> <\/b><\/p><p><b>A: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because you\u2019re not smart enough; strong enough; rich enough; extroverted enough&#8230;<\/span><\/p><p>&#8230;<\/p><p><b>Q:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Why do bad things always happen to me <\/span><\/p><p><b>A: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because the world is against you<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">None of those questions gives your brain an opportunity to come up with anything helpful.<\/span><\/p><p><strong>None of those questions shows you what you could do next or how you can move forward.<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">None of those questions offers anything you can learn.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">None of those questions gives answers that help to energise and motivate you.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And the real problem with asking negative questions is that when you ask your brain a question, at that moment that it\u2019s thinking about the answer, it cannot think about anything else. (One transaction at a time, like an ATM)<\/span><\/p><p><strong>So while it\u2019s coming up with all of the reasons why there\u2019s something wrong, it cannot see any of the positive answers that might also be true.<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So if instead, you train your brain to ask more positive questions, you will see the difference:<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><blockquote><p><b>Q:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Even though this isn\u2019t what I wanted, what did I do well here? <\/span><\/p><p><b>A: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You were committed to the end goal; you discovered a lot of ways that don\u2019t work; you showed great leadership with your team<\/span><\/p><p>&#8230;.<\/p><p><b>Q: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What can I learn from this mistake?<\/span><b> <\/b><\/p><p><b>A: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To be more consistent<\/span><\/p><p>&#8230;<\/p><\/blockquote><blockquote><p><b>Q:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Sometimes bad things happen to me, but let me think about what went well for me this week? <\/span><\/p><p><b>A: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You found a parking space at the shopping mall \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes &#8211; there are times when you will want to discover <strong><em>\u201cWhat went wrong here?\u201d<\/em> <\/strong>Or <em><strong>\u201cWhat could go wrong here\u201d<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; but&#8230;<\/span><\/p><p><b>Always aim for a higher percentage of positive questions overall, especially when you\u2019re feeling stressed or frustrated about something.<\/b><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><strong>TAKE ACTION:<\/strong><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Notice if you tend to ask yourself (or others) negative questions<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">See if there is a way for you to reframe the question into a more positive or neutral question (e.g. What are the benefits of this? How might this be perfect? What can I learn from this?)<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">COACHING: If you find yourself focussing on the negative more often than the positive, <\/span>then<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/terezrijkenberg.com\/book-a-consultation\/\">book a free consultation with me here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And if you insert negative questions into your brain, you get zero (or negative) answers. Negative questions are not useful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4503,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[87,178,97,138,137,75],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Ask negative questions, get negative answers - Terez Rijkenberg | Executive Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you insert negative questions into your brain, you get zero (or negative) answers. 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