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Fixing feelings and doubling the bad

TEREZ RIJKENBERG, MBA

TEREZ RIJKENBERG, MBA

Executive coach Terez Rijkenberg is an MBA graduate, author, speaker, and facilitator who blends productivity and mindset strategies to give busy executives simple ways to overcome procrastination and self-doubt. Terez is passionate about helping people achieve more success without all the stress so that they can create the ultimate life-work balance.

If we constantly try to fix our feelings it means “there’s something wrong”. But what if nothing has gone wrong. What if it's ok to just feel that negative feeling?

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We all experience feelings (or emotions) throughout our day.

Frustration, excitement, fear, anxiety, defeat, disappointment, love, pride…

But sometimes when we experience “negative” and “bad” feelings, we try to fix them straight away.

But I want to show you that you can allow yourself to have negative feelings, without needing to fix them.

Because if we constantly try to fix our feelings it means “there’s something wrong”.

So this is what happens:

  1. We feel bad
  2. We think “there’s something wrong” because are feeling bad
  3. We feel bad about feeling bad
  4. We’ve doubled the bad

Just remove the extra layer of bad.

Stop thinking something’s gone wrong.

Let yourself feel frustrated, let yourself feel disappointed, and let yourself feel anger.

Stop beating yourself up for feeling bad.

Just let yourself feel negative emotions sometimes.

Tell yourself that it’s ok.

That’s all.

Yes – you might still feel bad.

But you’ll also feel so much better.

TAKE ACTION:

  • Next time you feel a negative feeling, check in with yourself and see if you’re trying to fix it
  • You might find yourself trying to fix the feeling by: overworking, overeating, overdrinking, watching Netflix etc. This just allows you to avoid feeling the feeling.
  • You might find yourself beating yourself up for feeling the feeling.
  • You might also find yourself reacting from the feeling, e.g. shouting.
  • In those moments remind yourself that it’s ok to feel bad sometimes, it’s ok to feel a negative emotion and you don’t have to fix it or avoid it or react from it.
  • You can process through any negative emotion much faster by allowing them to be present, by allowing them to be there without making them go away.
  • COACHING: If you would like help processing emotions so that you can move forward faster with your work and life goals, then book a free consultation with me here.

Your coach,

Terez

Want to know more about how this can apply to YOU?

Why not sign up for a FREE 30-min consultation with me. We will explore your goals, the obstacles that are currently getting in the way and how you can overcome them. It's easy once you have a strategy.

Want to know more about how this can apply to YOU?

Why not sign up for a FREE 30-min consultation with me. We will explore your goals, the obstacles that are currently getting in the way and how you can overcome them. It's easy once you have a strategy.

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